I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
