the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
