I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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