p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
im about as happy as oj after his trial
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
