he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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