if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
