Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
