dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
