Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
we're so committed to being not committed
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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