yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
