her vagine was all disorganized.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
