Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
