This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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