I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
