Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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