Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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