I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
