when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
handjob tips. give me some.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
