Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
