It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
