I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
