There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
