I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I touched a dick in church today
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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