Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
All I want is dick and wine.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
