Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i love accidental penises.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
