I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
