Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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