worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
