There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
