Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
