i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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