i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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