her facebook's as public as her vagina
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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