i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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