belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
