i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm having to shit out rocks
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
