If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
