She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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