My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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