I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
