...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
