Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
