finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
