i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
