I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
