Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
