you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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