I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
