I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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