Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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