Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
