i would punch a child for taco bell
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
