Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
