Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
