i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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