Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
