Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize