I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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